Who takes care of the one who keeps everyone alive?
বিজ্ঞাপন
A love letter to the tired hands that keep the lights on
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| Medium |
There’s a kind of tired that seeps into your bones — not from lack of sleep, but from carrying too much for too long. It’s the kind of exhaustion that comes from being the one who keeps everything together when no one else will.
Being the family’s “strong one” sounds noble, doesn’t it?
People think it means you’re dependable, mature, capable. But what they don’t see is how heavy it gets? To be the one who always gives, who always understands, who keeps saying “it’s fine” even when it isn’t.
I’ve always been that person.The one who figures it out. The one who gives even when there’s nothing left to give.
When someone in my family needs money, I find a way. Even if it means cutting a piece of my peace just to keep everyone else comfortable.
And I do it quietly, because that’s what’s expected. That’s what love looks like, right?But lately, I’ve started to wonder why does love have to feel like this?
It’s strange how invisible you can feel when you’re the one holding everything up. How easily people forget that you, too, get tired. That you, too, need help.
Sometimes I sit there wondering where I’ll get the next bit of strength or money or motivation to keep going. I tell myself, “This time, I’ll choose myself.”
But then I feel the guilt creeping in… that sharp ache that tells me I’m selfish for even thinking it. So I give again. And again. Until there’s nothing left for me.And the scariest part? I’ve gotten used to it.
I’ve gotten used to the silence that comes after helping everyone. The kind of loneliness that follows every sacrifice. The way no one checks if I’m okay because I’m the one who’s supposed to be okay.I hate that I can’t even be angry.
I hate that I still understand. Because no matter how much it hurts, I still choose them the people who don’t always realize how much it costs me to stay kind.
I just want to rest. I want a day where I’m not needed. A day where I’m not calculating what to give up so someone else can have enough.
I want to know what it feels like to breathe without guilt, to choose myself without feeling like I’ve abandoned someone.
I want to stop being the person everyone depends on, and finally be someone who’s allowed to fall apart even just once.But I don’t even know how anymore.
Because when you’ve spent your whole life being the safety net, you start to forget what it feels like to be caught.
Because when you’ve spent your whole life being the safety net, you start to forget what it feels like to be caught.
Source: Medium/shelvedhope
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