You’re unique, and unique can sometimes feel like a alone

বিজ্ঞাপন

but you’re not truly alone.

I think when we want to change and step into a state of healing, we often feel lonely because it seems like no one else is doing the same thing we are. Like right now, I feel alone—not entirely alone, but sometimes I just wish I could find someone who shares the same mindset and the same journey. Someone I can talk to about trauma and healing, about the process of freeing ourselves from the fears that hold us back. But I haven’t found that person yet.

In fact, my relationship with my friends in college has become a little distant. I once told one of my friends that I needed some time for myself to

feel like a alone

But then I remembered: sometimes a good change requires us to allow ourselves to be alone. To just be with ourselves. Because in that space, we begin to discover parts of us we never knew before.

The truth is, when I was afraid of losing her, it wasn’t because I truly cared for her it was because I feared losing the benefits I got from our friendship. Realizing that felt toxic, and I’ve only just become aware of it now.

Instead of fearing to lose her out of love, I was afraid of losing her because she wouldn’t be able to help me with the things I wanted to do. That made me laugh a little, because it felt like I had uncovered a darker side of myself.

Now, I just want to let her be who she is, while I take the time to reflect. Because honestly, when I spend too much time with her, I barely have time for myself. She always has so much to talk about, and sometimes that makes me feel stuck like I’m trapped in a place where I can’t breathe.

It felt as though I had given her my life, my rest, my energy, and my time. And at some point, it started to make me sick. Because when you spend too much time with someone, without giving yourself a break, it can make you feel suffocated and eventually, it only gets worse.

So before things turned worse, I told her we should spend less time together. That we could still meet and talk in college, but not at my boarding house anymore.

Yes, it feels lonely because now I don’t really have someone to talk to. But at the same time, it makes me feel safe, calm, relaxed, and at peace.

Maybe healing really does mean learning to be alone and choosing to be with ourselves.

Source: Medium/cutjulia73

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