Which stage of life should I be at this age?

বিজ্ঞাপন

And who decides someone “should” be?

💬: It’s been so long. Where are you now? And what do you do for a living?

This was just a casual question, like an almost exchange of words on a message from an old friend on Instagram after not having talked in years.

At first, I didn’t mind that question. It wasn’t even that deep. It was just a common one that people ask all the time. But for some reason, it made me pause. The question stayed in my head longer than it should have.

(But where is the “How are you” or “How have you been”? Why is it skipped?)

I stared at the message, read and reread it for a while before replying. I found it so hard to reply. I didn’t know why, but it was like I got lost in translation. I didn’t really know how to answer that simple question.

The question was heavier than it sounded. I could feel the question wasn’t only about wanting to know. Because I didn’t just hear the feeling of curiosity, but more than that. There was something else behind it, even when it didn’t mean anything and sounded that way.

Behind those words, I could feel the question wasn’t really about what I do, but where I am in life. Or maybe what stage I’m on. I feel like I was being asked how far I’ve gone and where I am in this race. It was like I was being interviewed to explain what’s written on my resume.

It made me start to think that my answer to that question is the proof whether I’ve become ‘something’ at this age, or that I’ve surpassed society’s set standards. It’s like how much I’m worth if I’m successful or if I’ve gotten somewhere.

But where exactly should I be? Which stage of life should I be at at this age I am now?

And what if I am none of those — neither made it somewhere nor someone who’s built a life that would make people proud to know. Will I be less impressive if I don’t meet their expectations, or will people find me impressive enough if I go beyond their imagination?

I mean, why does living have to be defined by status — a title, a job, and how stable do people look in their life from the surface? Why does it feel like someone’s identity matters when their job title is ‘something’? It’s strange how someone’s existence is defined by what they do, as if it’s more than anything.

And it also made me think about how people could skip the most human or what matters most, and go straight to what they do for a living. Because in this cruel world, this exhausting life, asking how they feel or how they are is more important than knowing those labels that measure where someone is in life.

But yeah, I wish people cared a little more about feel than title. And I wish that instead of asking ‘what you do for a living,’ it’s better to ask them ‘how you have been.’

And by the way, TMI, when I got that message, my response was “Nothing much, and I’m still on Earth.” And now I think about it, I should’ve just responded “I breathe oxygen a lot” :D

Source:medium/Yellowbeee°•°

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