Love isn’t enough ask yourself this first

Love isn’t enough ask yourself this first

Four questions you’ll never forget.

Honestly, I watched The Life List a long time ago, but only today I feel ready to talk about it. I’m not sure why now, but maybe because the movie hit me so deeply. The Life List taught me a lot especially about going back to the goals we once let go of, because we thought they no longer fit who we are, and about searching for true love.

Alex, the main character, made her own life list when she was just 13 years old. After her mother passed away, she left Alex a series of video messages, each one meant to be watched only after Alex completed an item from that list. It was like a loving dare from her mom—to encourage her to revisit her younger self’s dreams and finish what she once hoped to achieve.

So, Alex started working through it all: learning to play the piano, becoming a teacher, making peace with her father, and finally finding true love.

Her mom also left her four important questions to help her decide if someone is truly meant to be her life partner:

1. Can you tell him everything in your heart?

2. Is he kind?

3. Does he help you become the best version of yourself?

4. Can you imagine him as the father of your children?

And the last question struck me the most.

Because when we think about marrying someone, it’s not just about love it’s about the responsibility we carry when we eventually have children. We all want our children to grow up without the trauma or emotional neglect that many of us still carry today. So when I imagine that fourth question, I feel like I’m not ready it’s such a big responsibility.

And if you’re in love with someone now maybe a partner or even a spouse I just want to say: it’s not too late to look closer and deeper. Only you know how your partner behaves on a daily basis.

What I mean is: if you can’t picture that person being a good husband or wife and a good parent to your future children honey, please let them go. Because they might end up hurting not only you but also the children you’ll raise together mentally, emotionally, or even physically. And I know you don’t want that.

So before choosing someone to marry, ask yourself those four questions. Answer honestly, with your heart and your mind don’t let your emotions take over. That won’t be good for you.

But if you’ve asked yourself those questions and your answers are truly “yes” to all of them then congratulations, honey. He deserves you. I just hope you’re not wrong about your choice, and not in denial because I don’t want you to carry a lifetime of guilt for choosing someone who wasn’t right for your forever.

Source: Medium/julia

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